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Women are not ready.. but neither are men

I attended a fundraiser event a few weeks ago in the presence of about 600 people who represented cream of the South Asian community living in the Vancouver Lower Mainland. Attendees were from various walks of life, let it be academia, professionals, businessmen, politicians or the society transformers.

By the end of this event, it was bluntly clear to me that men in general are not well enough to live happy and contended life and women in general are not capable enough to defend their opinions, choices, or rights. Living in a country like Canada and that too in 2017, such strong statement from a feminist mind would trigger some reaction and rightfully it should.

To put the finding in prospective, I have to first give credit to South Asian men attending this event for not only working hard but also smart to find financial success in this foreign land. Same has been the pattern for people who moved from Britain, France, Italy, China and so on to North America. Although it can't be ignored that their success is supplemented or supported by the women in their lives, fact still remains that financial success of immigrant communities belongs to men, just as it did in their native countries. Women are engaged in various employments but only as an employee or as a small employer. It is men who hold highly profitable businesses and to validate it in a framed time zone of one evening, it is to be noted that out of the total fund raised, not more than 5 % was contributed by women. Men in general are the real financial fuel to the charities, social work that is being done as well as machinery to generate employment opportunities.

Furthermore, although the AD ( Anno Domini) calendar years have moved twenty thousand and sixteen times but just as the history speaks, now too this financial success of the male population spreads it's influence into the political arena. This financial control in politics then leads up to various policies, laws and most importantly social and cultural atmosphere in which the future is groomed. This is what we call a circle of power and politics.

Now let me take you a little deeper than the comforts from this financial success and rush of political control. From the historic royal pictures of rooms filled with men, moving right along to this gathering, obvious change was fashion, behaviors were somewhat the same. Many men came alone and some came with their spouses. As we were driving back home after the gathering, two of my friends shared their disappointment around a loud “men only” tables that hardly paid any attention or respect as to who was on the stage, let it be the announcers, politicians, entertainers, other respected individuals or individuals sitting around them on other tables. A wise examinar would have given a “FAIL” to such financially and politically successful society.

Human mind controlled by the patterns, in general repeats what is rewarded, or is good for the survival. Only a sick mind repeats a reprimanded and punished acts. If male control on the financial power and politics has not changed considerably over the years then all must be well. But it is not. Men are not happy or contented. They are committing punishable crimes. They are mentally sick (not all) and this sickness is evident across geographical boundaries, races, religions, caste and color. Evidence supporting this argument is that sick minds are causing “ missing and murdered women”; human trafficking is not a forgotten history but is very much a first world trait; men are harassing thousands of women not only in developing country, or country in wars, but also in a country like Canada working in a reputed police department. Evidence is also that in countries like England or India men can’t stop from raping a 90 years women, molesting a few months old child, a retired principle of an elementary school can't stop himself from luring a child, priests have and still are sexually abusing children and the list continues.

Disproportionate distribution of money and power between genders have failed men and hurt women. The cure to this sickness might just be valuing humanity and integrity. Such traits; however, are not taught or given in any school (public or private), at home by the parents but are leant from the society. Our society is responsible for the misery of both men and women. We are still a society that teaches boys different rules to show affection or sadness than a girl child. We keep our daughters deprived of learning skills to negotiation, opportunity to fail, take calculated risks and become a valued leader. Because of missing representation of women on the decision making tables, because of insensitive and detached emotional brought up of men, we are living in an imbalanced society that has less than required respect for themselves. To see it differnetly, just imagine success of an institution that only uses half of its brain, half of its resources and half of its dreams/ vision to build tomorrow. An army that only trains half of its soldier. Would you bet on such an institution? Would that army be able to defend itself? Simple, relaively easy and quick remedy to start curing this sick society is to change the decision makers of the society. Gradual results will come about by women’s active and equal contribution in social and political decision making in domestic to international matters.

Future parents should consider sharing experiences, and skill sets in words and action with kids based on their interests and not gender. Community should train both sons and daughter with entrepreneur skill such as negotiating, risk taking, leading and social skills of effectively communicating thoughts and emotions.To build a healthy and progressive society lets bring women in the cycle of power and politics. Lets help men to breakout from the vicious cycle of drugs, sex related crimes, and issues from homelessness to wars. As a society lets demystify, dismantle many gender based rules and write a new revised vision for the coming generation.

Balancing the political and financial control between the genders, might just lead us to an evolved society that respects the existence and choices of all people. I would work towards leaving such a legacy, society would have to make its own decision.

I am ready.

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